Life Feels Different in 2022

 "Back to Normal....when will we be able to go BACK TO NORMAL?" I have heard so many people ask that question in this pandemic world we live in. 

I honestly think the answer to that question is very simple........NEVER! 

We will never be back to "normal" there is a new normal, a more chaotic version of life as we knew it. We have lost so much and gained so much at the same time. 

Many of us took up new hobbies and jobs when we lost the ones we had when the pandemic started. So, we have learned new things about ourselves and our ability to survive a change in our whole way of life. 

A lot of people are gone, passed away during this time, and many without their loved ones by their side. It has broken many and changed families in ways some people will never understand. 

Friendships were tested and some survived even the hardest of the time, but others did not and were broken up and lost. In a way, it is a good thing because you should keep people who build you up and are a positive and empowering gift, not ones that think it is ok to hurt those we love. Life can really change just the way it feels by the change in who you keep company with and share your life with. 

For me, the mother to three kids all at different stages of life, surviving the pandemic time and navigating a relationship, household, and the education of my children has been a severe test of my patience, my organization, and my multitasking abilities. 

I am a creature of habit and when this all started, having that habitual day schedule I had maintained for a while disrupted, well it kind of fucked with my mind and caused me to go into a bit of a panic mode. 

Now the time I took advantage of to clean and such around the house had to be spent making sure the kids were attending online virtual learning with several different teachers and printing out worksheets and making sure homework was turned in. 

Along the way, in the time I had for myself, I decided to really take stock of who I am and what I need in my life to be truly happy. I don't mean in the physical sense like trinkets and doodads that beep and such, but the qualities in my life and the hobbies that make me feel within my element. I had plenty of days that knocked the wind right out of me during the time when people I loved were lost along the way and I learned that life can change so quickly that you never really know how much time is left. So why the fuck not just do what adds joy to your life and find a way to make it work for you. See I am one of the lucky few who has a great support system to cheer me on and pick up the slack on the days I just cannot seem to pull it all on my own. 

I truly learned a lot about myself and who I am deep inside. I have learned to express my fears and my feelings whenever I needed help. I found ways to be more active and to really enjoy life.  I found my passions and started finding ways to ignite and keep the fires of my joy burning by incorporating them, into my life more and more each day. I have been learning so many new things like languages, artists, small business owners, and people who are like me and are working on both their physical and their spiritual journey through life be that however they so desire. 

All of this has changed me, has changed my family, has changed the entire world, and there is no NORMAL to our lives except whatever it is we do now and moving forward. Stop looking back, look forward, and make changes that will make you happy! Stop worrying about what is normal and know that however you are living your life IS NORMAL! 

As always, thanks for being here and reading my ramblings! Feel free to comment on something that changed in your life over the last few years. 

Creating A New Focus for 2021

As the sun rose on the new year it felt different. Social media wasn't flooded with resolutions to disappoint us halfway through the year, instead, there was a quiet, more careful approach to the year. We seemed to step into 2021 like a deer into a quiet clearing, our ears listening for danger, our feet ready to run into hiding. 

2020 had stirred up our anxiety, fear, and sense of self-preservation. With all the losses that 2020 brought we may wonder what this year has in store. So we tip-toed in and now are waiting to see what happens. 

At this point, I have made a decision to take it one day at a time. I will fill out my calendar with the important things, still make plans when possible (and as safe as can be), and embrace the year for improving myself and my family even more than we did in 2020. 

I was able to work with my family to have a pretty smooth last year so I feel like we really are in one of the best places to embrace this year with all we have. Knowing that we are still in the midst of the Pandemic and that it isn't safe to be with friends or distant family makes it a little bit glum for planning the year. We know we won't be able to celebrate any of the spring birthdays with anyone but our household, but for us that is okay, it means we will save some money, we will be safe, and we can always use the money later for planning something fun or the holidays at the end of the year. 

Instead of making resolutions this year, I came up with a list of "New Year Practices". This is a list of things that I would really like to work on and hopefully achieve a regularity of accomplishing. A few of these I started working on in the middle of last year. Now I have them written down and I can see them daily when I open up my household binder! 

Here is what I want to work on. 

1. Making meditation a daily habit. 

2. Communicating my feelings so I don't hold them all in. 

3. Getting some plants. (Not only will this be a fun thing for me because I love gardening, but also is good for my mental health and the quality of air in my home if I get the right ones.) 

4. Make healthier choices. (For this particular practice it includes small choices like not snacking on bad foods to larger choices like what workout to do for the best results.) 

5. PURSUE MY PASSIONS! (This includes everything from my photography, blog, vlog, art, and writing.) 

I think that each of these is easy to achieve with a little planning and hard work. 

Another resource I am happy to have found is the email list of 4 Hats and Frugal - Family Finance Expert. If you join the email list and read the blog you can get a free printable on Fridays as well as all kinds of useful information for using to live your best life. As a bonus to being one of her loyal followers, I was able to take advantage of a recent freebie that is the backbone of my year being what I want it to be! 

One of my favorite things to do to keep track of what I have to do is use lists and planners and low and behold....a freebie of a printable PLANNER! 

Now just as the title of the planner says I can be a more "Focused Mom". It has all the parts I need to organize my house for the entire year! 

If you like lists or want something to keep track of how busy life can get I highly suggest you get yourself a planner. Sometimes you can find a printable version online but if all else fails check Amazon or even just google it. There are tons of cute and functional ones out there to motivate you to organize! 

Another tool I tend to utilize is a large whiteboard, I am working on also getting a corkboard to go beside it but right now I use it for writing our menu for the day, decorate for the holidays, school schedules when we are getting used to them, and any other notices we need to be able to see in that day. 

I think to find some balance this year we have to be prepared for whatever we may have come our way. 

For some of us, that means organizing into planners and calendars so there are no surprises. We have to log when our payments of bills are due and try to put something aside in savings for unexpected bills. For the last couple of years by doing this we have been ready for any financial necessities, extra bills we add, and even for the holiday season to splurge a little more on gifts. This year I am going to make sure we stay on top and since the budget is always being checked against what is spent, we are always on top of things. We may not be the richest of families but we live a life that isn't unhappy. 

We do what we CAN with what we HAVE! 

It has worked for the last 4 years since our family changed and it has been great. Life has thrown its fair share (plus some) of lemons at us but all in all, I feel like our family has stuck it out pretty well only improving with time like a good cheese. (yeah I am not a wine drinker but love a good cheese) 

Just take this year and put into practice some ideas you have always dreamt about. Take it one day at a time, one task at a time, and don't forget to breathe and take time to dream! 

Self Care Through Journaling

While clicking through the internet not too long ago I came across a post that gave me 25 different journal prompts for Self Care. This inspired me to rethink the way I write since I have been suffering from some writer's block and not really been in the mood to continue on with the pieces I was previously working on.

So today I am going to share the first prompt, what I wrote and how it made me feel about myself after writing it.

Prompt 1: What are 10 things you are good at?

For me, it was a little tough coming up with TEN things that I am good at so I figured this was a good time to really sit and think about the things that I do that I am proud of and feel like I am good at no matter how small it was. After taking a night to stew on the question I made a list and decided to just write about that particular list.

The first thing that I am good at is taking care of my children! Making sure they are happy, healthy and safe is what I am really the best at in my own mind at least. (I like to think that they would agree)
Two, I am good at coordinating outfits for people. I can put together outfits from anyone's closet and they are always pretty good (having three kids with different styles helps).

Three, I am good at taking pictures. I love to take them all the time because why not remember as many moments as possible when I am older. I love taking pictures of pretty much anything but there is always a reason for it. I figure if I get old and start to forget these pictures will be a way to remind myself of the times I want to remember.
Fourth, I am good at organizing and color-coding. I like to put things in order, there is a sense of satisfaction at seeing things all lined up and neatly put in place!
Fifth, I am good at sparking up conversations with random people. I do have a lot of anxiety, HOWEVER, if I find something that sparks a compliment or that makes me smile I tend to speak up about it. I just can't help myself sometimes and that is okay, I think everyone should be able to say when something makes them happy with no shame.
Sixth, I am a good cook. I love trying new recipes, buying new spices, and trying to convince the kids to explore new things in the kitchen as well. I have found ways to sneak in the "good for you " stuff into their favorite dishes so I know they are getting what they need out of every meal!
Seventh, I am good at crafting. I am good at finding ways to use just about anything for making art. Upcycling things and getting supplies from places like (dollartree.com) and (walmart.com) I can make just about anything I want for gifts, household use or even just fun holiday decorating.

Eighth, I am good at multitasking, even right now I am doing about four different things while writing this particular post. I have a great ability to do many things at one time with the most ease.  I probably do it more than I should but it comes in handy when you have more than one child, a really great significant other and a household to keep in order.
Ninth, I am good at listening to others, I love to listen to those I love, friends, family, when anyone really talks about things they love. I also like to hear their sorrows and be a shoulder if they need me to be.

So now we are at the final thing of the ten, this one I feel is the most important, its the one thing that should really be on every single one of your lists should you choose to make one about what YOU are good at...this final thing is...I AM GOOD AT BEING ME! There is really nothing more important than that. No one else could be the fun, quirky, purple-haired, rainbow glasses-wearing, weirdo that I myself have become from the years of life I have lived!

Honestly writing this piece about myself was very therapeutic. It helped me to spend a lot of time thinking about the positives that make up who I am. This is quite the opposite of how I spend most of my days ( I am working improving on this in many ways this year). This self-care journaling is just a small part of what I hope is improving my life and its quality.

If you would like more information about these prompts, send me a comment and I can tell you more. I plan to do prompt writing again in a future post as well. Stay tuned and keep reading.

A New Year but not a New Me

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, welcome to 2020 and thanks for reading along. 

I know most of the time when the year starts the internet and real-world are covered in "Resolutions" that we all start promising we are going to stick to. However, you will not find those here. I have decided that this year I am just going to continue doing what I started to do in 2019. There is no reason for me to say "New Year, New Me" I don't want a new me, I kinda like me the way I am, I am loved for me why change that. 

Now don't get me wrong I do not mean that I don't think there are things about myself that could use some tweaking, I would love to go down a pants size (or 4) so I have already started eating better, exercising more, and making all-around healthier choices for myself and my family.

That was something we started before the holiday season tempted our sweet cravings, so I plan to continue that. I also plan to work on my mental health. I have done research, planning and implementing of things into my life that helps with that already (otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it through the holidays quite as easily).  

Something I found that helps with my particular issues 
*(if you would like to know more about mine leave a comment) is staying organized and having my home as in order as possible. ORGANIZING is KEY for me! I have working on finding thrift shop finds and free items from friends and neighbors as often as I can because it makes it WAY easier to organize when you have a place for EVERYTHING!  (There will be a post about some of my finds and what I used them for coming up later this month) Just implementing a few changes here and there in our life has made a huge difference in how my mental health impacts my day to day routine. 

Another change I made last year was trying new things. That extended to making new friends, going to new places, eating new foods, and doing things I would have once hesitated to try. This year will be filled with more of that. I will continue to put myself out there and say yes to opportunities that are presented to me with less fear and more ambition! I will do things I have always wanted to, and I will finally cross off a few more things from my bucket list. 

That also ties into me keeping track of my days and making memories with my family. More photos, more crafting, more reading, more time together because it is so very precious right now in the world we live in. The kids have been growing so much and it so hard sometimes to realize just how independent they are all becoming. I suppose I nurture that by finding ways for them to make decisions in our home, holding them accountable for their actions and chores, and making sure they always know how they feel matters. I want them to grow up knowing they are loved. That is really my only goal in life! I want those I love to be happy and know how much they are loved. That extends to my friends, my family (near and far) and even strangers because with the way the world is we need as much love out there as is possible. 

So now you know what my plan is for this year, I would love to hear what your plan is. If you don't have a plan and that works for you then that is okay too. For me, a plan works best and I wish you all the best! 

Coming up this year here @Making it Work Together, we will visit bucket lists, crafting, organizing, mental health, and what works in my house for our family's particular needs! If there is something you would love to see, please feel free to leave a comment! 

Happy Living! - MomentofMom 

The Winds of Change

Well it is happening, we are going back to CT. My heart has been there since we left and it seems I couldn't be truly happy out here like I wanted to be. Mckenzee is happy about it, Spencer, well I don't think he has a clue, and DJ is the one disappointed in us wanting to go home.
He has worked so hard out here and tried to make us a life and I didn't make it easy on him. I know I probably could have tried harder but without Andy and without my friends and family I felt a little piece of my soul was missing.
I know it doesn't matter what I say because he is still not happy about it but I wish he knew that I WANTED our lives to work out here...I really did, but I am not happy. As much as I love him and all the things he has done for us it still doesn't take the ache of not being able to see my son everyday or any time I want, it doesn't give me my mom to go out to coffee with and to watch cheesy movies with my friends while we talk about our kids.

Now some may say I am selfish that if he is happy here then I should be happy because at least I am with him. Okay I understand that reasoning and if I had had a normal family filled life and didn't have a son I have to fly out here just to see once a year then maybe I would agree with you but that is not me.
I spent YEARS being alone, homeless, moving from city to city to find work, a place to sleep, someone who DIDN'T abuse me. I never got to have a great relationship with my mother until I was late into my 20s and it really just got good when I entered my 30s....I am now 34, and I miss my mother something terribly. I totally love the friends I have finally made so many years past the ones I made many years ago and lost track of or touch with until recently. For me it was just when things in my personal life were falling into place that I made the decision to leave it all behind for him and his decision. I had high hopes and I had no idea it would be so hard but should I continue to feel like I am hurt inside and truly missing out for this...maybe I should, maybe I AM selfish.
But this is what is happening...I am going home....I need to go home!

Overtired Mama

I think I am suffering from severe overtired mom syndrome. I am not sleeping well lately because my mind gets away from me like the moment I try to shut it off. I will start thinking about what I got done during the day, and what I didn't get done during the day. I will think about future appointments, jobs, money, birthdays, holidays, the kids, you name it and my mind decides that bedtime is the perfect time to think about it all! 

I am sure many of you know what I mean, and the more you tell yourself to stop thinking, the more you tend to think about. It is a never ending circle. 

One of the worst parts of being overtired besides the fatigue is that fact that I am uber sensitive. I feel very emotional on occasion even a little day-dreamy. I made the mistake of catching a sappy movie on TV and my daughter wanted to know why I was crying. Honestly I wasn't sure what to tell her, so I tried to explain to her what I was feeling, she didn't understand and eventually she went to her room to play dress-up because "Mommy is being silly" as she told her little brother when he followed her. 

I am hoping all I am feeling is just stress and fatigue and not anything serious. I suppose the only way I would be able to figure that out is with sleep but who knows when I will get enough of that. 

Being a Mama is a 24 hour a day job and Spencer has had some strange nights lately, plus I am still adjusting to the school schedule...it is all about the changes that I am getting used to. The worries for the future that will probably NEVER go away, the weird dreams, the wishing for things to start feeling better and not so crazy stressed. 

I am an overwhelmed, over-tired Mama....as I am sure many are! 

Tomorrow is a new day!  I am determined to get some GOOD sleep tonight *insert sarcastic "yeah right" laugh here* 

Goodnight faithful readers and please feel free to leave me some extra energy you may have in the comments *wink wink* 

#MamaNeedsSleep #TheSunWillComeUp #Tomorrow 

I've Got Betty Crocker Fantasies and June Cleaver Dreams

For many years I have wished to be the kind of mom that was there when the kids got home from school, with fresh baked cookies, cold milk, and a smile. Yeah I had delusions that I was a 50s housewife....I now know better.

Now when the kids get home from school I have a vacuum in one hand, a screaming toddler on my hip, and a burning smell coming from the oven. My dreams have been shattered into to unrecognizable pieces due to the way the world works. 

One income is just not enough unless that person who works is 

A: a celebrity

B: A CEO of something

C: Donald Trump! 

To provide for our family takes two incomes, one of which I make at 3am! I get up between 2:15 and 2:30 am go to work and get home sometime between 8:30 and 10 am depending on the amount of work to be done and how many people decided to call out that day. When I get home the kids are either just getting up or just finishing breakfast and their father is wrangling them on his own. Sometimes I take the time he is home before heading to work himself and I lay down for a little bit since odds are I didn't sleep much the night before. (I average about 3 1/2-4 hours a night on a good night) After my nap it is usually time for me to take over anything else that needs to be done with the kids/dinner/housework so that my fiance can head out to work himself. He (most days) works from 4pm-midnight and sometimes even later! (I just got a call from him saying he is working extra tonight because he has to do inventory now since the person scheduled to do it is "sick") *sigh* ANYWAYS even with us BOTH working we just barely find ways to make ends meet. We do it and we make it work, but it is tough and stressful and tiring. I just want to bake cookies!!! 

Now don't get me wrong I try to find time to bake yummy treats and around the holiday season (October-January) I am a goddess in an apron cooking up all kinds of seasonal favorites which I will privy you to when the time comes. However it would be great to have an always clean house, no overwhelming laundry pile, the smell of yummy chocolate chip cookies wafting from the oven and a constant smile but this is not an episode of Leave it to Beaver! This is "The Avery-Mather-Hacketts" and we work hard, play hard, and are doing the best we can. 

I can find some solace in the fact that my kids are happy (most of the time), I wake each morning with the opportunity to breathe and make the day special, and that I KNOW I am doing the best I can and have FINALLY moved up in the world to a place where I can feel like a strong, confident, mother who loves her family! 

Now to change the subject a little just because I can. I made an excellent EASY stir fry last night that I threw together using little things I happened to have! 

Here is what I used:

1 chicken breast (cut into small bite size pieces)

{1/2 cup of orange juice

1 tsp garlic powder (I would have used fresh if I had it) 

1/4 cup of honey 

1/4 cup of Kikkoman Soy Sauce} 

mix all these together for your marinade and toss with chicken and refrigerate for 20 mins.

You will also need 

1 pkg. McCormack Brown Gravy Mix

1 cup water 

1 or 2 pkgs of Ramen (I used chicken flavored) or Mashed potatoes works well too! 

1 pkg of frozen stir fry veggies (I used Bird's Eye) 

Mix gravy mix and water and set aside...

Heat a 10 in skillet and 2 tbs of oil (use whichever you would like) cook chicken until no longer pink. In separate pan cook Ramen or Mashed potatoes using their cooking directions on the package. Once chicken is cooked add frozen stir fry veggies and cook until thawed and heated through. Stir the gravy liquid and slowly add to hot pan of veggies and chicken and cook until thickened. Toss with cooked Ramen or spoon over mashed potatoes. It is so good and so easy! 

I hope you take the time to try this at least once because it is so yummy. You can adjust this in any way and I invite you to post in the comments how it comes out so maybe I could try it as well! Happy Eating Faithful Readers, I hope you enjoyed my small dream...and my wacky reality! I would love you hear about what some of your dreams or accomplishments are feel free to share! 

#MamaBettyJuneDreamer #NewRecipes