Creating A New Focus for 2021

As the sun rose on the new year it felt different. Social media wasn't flooded with resolutions to disappoint us halfway through the year, instead, there was a quiet, more careful approach to the year. We seemed to step into 2021 like a deer into a quiet clearing, our ears listening for danger, our feet ready to run into hiding. 

2020 had stirred up our anxiety, fear, and sense of self-preservation. With all the losses that 2020 brought we may wonder what this year has in store. So we tip-toed in and now are waiting to see what happens. 

At this point, I have made a decision to take it one day at a time. I will fill out my calendar with the important things, still make plans when possible (and as safe as can be), and embrace the year for improving myself and my family even more than we did in 2020. 

I was able to work with my family to have a pretty smooth last year so I feel like we really are in one of the best places to embrace this year with all we have. Knowing that we are still in the midst of the Pandemic and that it isn't safe to be with friends or distant family makes it a little bit glum for planning the year. We know we won't be able to celebrate any of the spring birthdays with anyone but our household, but for us that is okay, it means we will save some money, we will be safe, and we can always use the money later for planning something fun or the holidays at the end of the year. 

Instead of making resolutions this year, I came up with a list of "New Year Practices". This is a list of things that I would really like to work on and hopefully achieve a regularity of accomplishing. A few of these I started working on in the middle of last year. Now I have them written down and I can see them daily when I open up my household binder! 

Here is what I want to work on. 

1. Making meditation a daily habit. 

2. Communicating my feelings so I don't hold them all in. 

3. Getting some plants. (Not only will this be a fun thing for me because I love gardening, but also is good for my mental health and the quality of air in my home if I get the right ones.) 

4. Make healthier choices. (For this particular practice it includes small choices like not snacking on bad foods to larger choices like what workout to do for the best results.) 

5. PURSUE MY PASSIONS! (This includes everything from my photography, blog, vlog, art, and writing.) 

I think that each of these is easy to achieve with a little planning and hard work. 

Another resource I am happy to have found is the email list of 4 Hats and Frugal - Family Finance Expert. If you join the email list and read the blog you can get a free printable on Fridays as well as all kinds of useful information for using to live your best life. As a bonus to being one of her loyal followers, I was able to take advantage of a recent freebie that is the backbone of my year being what I want it to be! 

One of my favorite things to do to keep track of what I have to do is use lists and planners and low and behold....a freebie of a printable PLANNER! 

Now just as the title of the planner says I can be a more "Focused Mom". It has all the parts I need to organize my house for the entire year! 

If you like lists or want something to keep track of how busy life can get I highly suggest you get yourself a planner. Sometimes you can find a printable version online but if all else fails check Amazon or even just google it. There are tons of cute and functional ones out there to motivate you to organize! 

Another tool I tend to utilize is a large whiteboard, I am working on also getting a corkboard to go beside it but right now I use it for writing our menu for the day, decorate for the holidays, school schedules when we are getting used to them, and any other notices we need to be able to see in that day. 

I think to find some balance this year we have to be prepared for whatever we may have come our way. 

For some of us, that means organizing into planners and calendars so there are no surprises. We have to log when our payments of bills are due and try to put something aside in savings for unexpected bills. For the last couple of years by doing this we have been ready for any financial necessities, extra bills we add, and even for the holiday season to splurge a little more on gifts. This year I am going to make sure we stay on top and since the budget is always being checked against what is spent, we are always on top of things. We may not be the richest of families but we live a life that isn't unhappy. 

We do what we CAN with what we HAVE! 

It has worked for the last 4 years since our family changed and it has been great. Life has thrown its fair share (plus some) of lemons at us but all in all, I feel like our family has stuck it out pretty well only improving with time like a good cheese. (yeah I am not a wine drinker but love a good cheese) 

Just take this year and put into practice some ideas you have always dreamt about. Take it one day at a time, one task at a time, and don't forget to breathe and take time to dream! 

It's Been a While, and So Much Has Changed...

Sometimes things do NOT work out the way we had originally planned. Sometimes you try for a long time hoping something will work better the next time and maybe just maybe it will be okay. That is what has kept me so busy and unable to update this blog for a while. I like to think you all have anxiously awaited my next post but my guess is you kinda forgot about me.
All of that is ok though because now I am back with the Making It Work Together Blog 2.0!



So much has changed but I feel my newest version of my family is the best it can be. I am no longer with the person who I started this journey with but that is alright. We have both moved on to better people for ourselves and couldn't be happier.

Now I live in a new little two bedroom house, with a tiny yard and the best guy a girl could ask for. We even have plans to eventually get a couple of pets, a cat and a dog. We have been through a lot in the last few years and not too long ago celebrated making it two years together. We made it through a major health scare, being on the verge of homelessness, and some crazy people who tested our ability to stand strong together.

 We made it and have come out on the other side stronger and more together in our short time than I ever felt in the years passed than with anyone else. I feel like this is the partner I want to have till the end of my time. We are strong, we make our decisions together and with little to no friction, sure we argue but it is not all that often, sometimes it is over silly things like a tone not meant for us but left over from a long day of stress or such. Together we make it work in ways I didn't think it would for someone coming into a life that included three children that were not his biologically.
He makes me so happy there as well. He is GREAT with the kids and misses them when they have to be at their father's house. (As do I terribly, but co-parenting is tough work) All I know is he is wonderful to have as part of the family!

Speaking of my wonderful little ones, so much growing has happened there! All three of them are moving up to new schools this fall and it makes me both proud and a little sad. My oldest will be starting high school, my daughter middle school and the youngest is starting kindergarten after already making me emotional with him starting preschool LAST fall! It is hard watching them get so independent. I loved being needed so much and now with the youngest doing full days at school the house is empty and quiet. Now while it leaves time for me to organize and unpack more of our stuff (as we really only moved a few weeks ago.) it also makes me sad to not have that little shadow that used to follow me around.
 In the past few years my little ones have learned so much and accomplished many many things. Spencer knows some sign language and knows more colors than I remember knowing at his age. Mckenzee has grown up into a beautiful preteen, who wants to be a chef, but whom I believe would be a great actress (a talent I feel she uses too often). Maybe she can be a BROADWAY CHEF and do a musical all about her journey to become a chef beginning at a young age. (I may have put a LITTLE bit of thought into the story line and song choices) Andrew is doing awesome as well, latest updates have him becoming quite the fisherman and loving spending his time outdoors from early in the morning til evening doing so. I love this because it means he isn't spending all his time planted in front of a video game wasting away a perfectly wonderful day!
I am so proud of all of them they make me smile constantly and I love them so much. They have really made getting through everything that has happened a lot easier knowing I am striving to make a life they can be happy with and that nurtures and helps them grow.

Now while my old dreams didn't pan out because they were just not meant to, I have found a way to dust myself off, redirect myself, and begin the path to a whole new set of dreams that make me happy just thinking about. For some people if this happens you may not have to abandon certain dreams, like me, for me I am still pursuing the writing and hoping that I finally come up with something that will make me proud to share. I think I have some ideas too so who knows that may come sooner than later with the support I have around me now cheering me on.

With all that has gone on I have grown, changed, and learned so much. I wake up each morning more hopeful than I ever have. I have dreams I can't wait to achieve and I KNOW I will! I am grateful for every person I have in my life that is supportive, caring and willing to be an active part of our lives! So while things have changed, I couldn't be happier and this is just the start of a new journey where our family is .... MAKING IT WORK, TOGETHER!

Hard to stay standing, when again I have fallen....

This morning I woke up and was tired, I had worked a new shift at work yesterday, had trouble sleeping last night and was not entirely ready to greet my alarm at 2:15am with a smile. Still I got up, ate my Special K and headed to work ready to bust my butt for that paycheck like I do everytime I go in! 

Little did I know that my day was about to take a turn for the worst not even an hour into my shift...Apparently today marked the 90th day of being an employee and it was once again review time. As my name was called to the front office and I was leaving my area of work I looked at my supervisor and said uh oh, he laughed and said not to worry it was probably just my review and I'd be back to finish up my work in no time....WELL he was wrong and he had no idea how wrong, I was terminated. 

The reasons were:

I called out twice during my time there (yet if I had gone to work sick I would have gotten in trouble) and....I wasn't a fast enough worker (even though I worked faster than a girl who had been there for 3 years) 

I was devastated, hell I still am! When I was told that I would not even be finishing my shift and to turn in my badge and employee card my heart broke and it took everything in my power not to cry right there in front of my boss....but I held it together as I gave her what she needed and held my head high until I was back at my car...but then I was taken over with my emotion and I sat in my car for about ten minutes crying my eyes out before finally making the 1/2 hour drive home.  As soon as I got home I looked around at the dark house and checked on the kids to make sure they were still asleep (as it was only 5:30am) then I grabbed my laptop, flipped on my DVR and started job searching. By the time the kids woke up at 7:00am I had found about 6 jobs to apply to and had completed the process (including questionnaires and such) of three of the places! I have a few more to do as well as checking out some new leads that I found today when talking to others in the area, but I am too tired to attempt that right now since I have been up since 2am. 

One of the parts that really stings is that I was FINALLY making some friends, people that maybe I could be social with outside of work and now....that is over since I have no way of communicating with them and I was not allowed back on the floor to say goodbye to them before being locked out of the building...the only chance I really have of seeing them again is when I get my check on Friday next week but that is a slim chance as it is not a day they usually work. 

Time to start over again and hope for the best, I am also going to work on losing the weight I have been wanting to lose and getting the help with my unshakeable depression that seems to be looming over me in a bubble of grayness. (I am beginning to think I have a chemical imbalance.) It is just hard for me to feel positive after this setback, especially when this job was my first after ten years of stay at home mom status...It makes me feel like I have failed...but I think finding some help with get me through that. Here is hoping.

May tomorrow be a new day! A better day! 

#MamaHurts #NewFocus

A Little Me Time

A deep breath, slowly release, repeat...

The children are in bed, the house is at the least 85% clean, and I am sitting here listening to "The Big Bang Theory" play in the background as I sip a Mountain Dew. I have pretty much unpacked every box that can be unpacked or that needs to be unpacked with the exception of a couple in the kids room and I am feeling like we are finally settled in now. 

It has taken us about three weeks to fully get to where we are now and I am happy that we have finally gotten this far. Sure I am still a little bummed about the week coming up and the saddening event that happens on Tuesday but it is awesome knowing that this is just all ours! 

Once we finish decorating and getting our vacuum and organizing stuff and the things that we can use to hang the pictures and other things in our house I am going to take some pictures so you can see just how cute our apartment is! 

Honestly at this moment the fact that I only have 3 hours sleep in me, it took me about 15 minutes to get my paycheck this morning after working a longer shift than I was scheduled, getting stuck in parade/construction/lost oil rig guy traffic and then picking up a small gift for my Andy at Walmart before FINALLY heading home and NOT having time to nap....I am feeling relatively good, tired but good! 

I have a full list of things I am hoping to get done tomorrow as well as making a yummy dinner of fried chicken, corn-cakes, loaded scalloped potatoes and a veggie  of some kind! We have to get this place in order and looking good because we are having company on Monday after we take Andy to Gameworks to celebrate his birthday! We invited over some of his friends and DJs uncle (and his friends) to have some cake and ice cream with us as our first guests in the new apartment. We are looking forward to it and I am going to have to find some time tomorrow to bake up Andy's cake so it is all done before I go to work on Monday morning since we leave for Gameworks shortly after I get home from work. 

...and on that note I think it is time for me to log off, get into my jammies, grab my bottled water, find something fun to watch on TV and get comfy! So good night and sleep tight, or good morning depending on where you are when reading this! 

As always THANK YOU for being my faithful readers! 

#MeTime #NewKindOfHappy 

Starting Anew

I have decided that a new place in a new state is the chance to start anew! Having recently moved from Connecticut to Washington I am adjusting to things in a positive and adventurous way! I am engaged to a wonderful man and together we have two children. I have a son named Andrew from a previous relationship who I have currently with me in Washington but who (because of a sucky legal system) must return to Connecticut to his father in about 2 weeks. I know I am going to miss him like crazy since I have NEVER spent more than a week away from him since he was born almost 9 years ago!

I also have a daughter named Mckenzee who is almost 6 and another son named Spencer who just became 3 months old. We moved to Washington to be with the father of my two children (the 6 year and 3 month old).  He moved here to try to find work since in CT thing were not working out on the search! When he found a job he started saving money and started making a home for us out here. So in June I took my children, packed up our things and we flew out so we could all be together.

Now as it has only been two weeks since we have made the move we have seemed to fit in quite well and have kinda gotten into a good flow of things. We make time for family meals, we make sure we say "I love you" as often as possible, and playtime is a MUST! I am sure we will have to readjust once the summer ends but for now this totally works for us. My fiance has been working hard and keeps making more and more hours during the week which on occasion is disappointing if we have made plans and he gets called in but again we "MAKE IT WORK", and he makes sure that on certain days off he is not called in so we can spend quality time as a family.

I hope to update regularly and to inspire you to "MAKE IT WORK, TOGETHER" yourselves!

Be safe, be calm, be together!