It's Been a While, and So Much Has Changed...

Sometimes things do NOT work out the way we had originally planned. Sometimes you try for a long time hoping something will work better the next time and maybe just maybe it will be okay. That is what has kept me so busy and unable to update this blog for a while. I like to think you all have anxiously awaited my next post but my guess is you kinda forgot about me.
All of that is ok though because now I am back with the Making It Work Together Blog 2.0!



So much has changed but I feel my newest version of my family is the best it can be. I am no longer with the person who I started this journey with but that is alright. We have both moved on to better people for ourselves and couldn't be happier.

Now I live in a new little two bedroom house, with a tiny yard and the best guy a girl could ask for. We even have plans to eventually get a couple of pets, a cat and a dog. We have been through a lot in the last few years and not too long ago celebrated making it two years together. We made it through a major health scare, being on the verge of homelessness, and some crazy people who tested our ability to stand strong together.

 We made it and have come out on the other side stronger and more together in our short time than I ever felt in the years passed than with anyone else. I feel like this is the partner I want to have till the end of my time. We are strong, we make our decisions together and with little to no friction, sure we argue but it is not all that often, sometimes it is over silly things like a tone not meant for us but left over from a long day of stress or such. Together we make it work in ways I didn't think it would for someone coming into a life that included three children that were not his biologically.
He makes me so happy there as well. He is GREAT with the kids and misses them when they have to be at their father's house. (As do I terribly, but co-parenting is tough work) All I know is he is wonderful to have as part of the family!

Speaking of my wonderful little ones, so much growing has happened there! All three of them are moving up to new schools this fall and it makes me both proud and a little sad. My oldest will be starting high school, my daughter middle school and the youngest is starting kindergarten after already making me emotional with him starting preschool LAST fall! It is hard watching them get so independent. I loved being needed so much and now with the youngest doing full days at school the house is empty and quiet. Now while it leaves time for me to organize and unpack more of our stuff (as we really only moved a few weeks ago.) it also makes me sad to not have that little shadow that used to follow me around.
 In the past few years my little ones have learned so much and accomplished many many things. Spencer knows some sign language and knows more colors than I remember knowing at his age. Mckenzee has grown up into a beautiful preteen, who wants to be a chef, but whom I believe would be a great actress (a talent I feel she uses too often). Maybe she can be a BROADWAY CHEF and do a musical all about her journey to become a chef beginning at a young age. (I may have put a LITTLE bit of thought into the story line and song choices) Andrew is doing awesome as well, latest updates have him becoming quite the fisherman and loving spending his time outdoors from early in the morning til evening doing so. I love this because it means he isn't spending all his time planted in front of a video game wasting away a perfectly wonderful day!
I am so proud of all of them they make me smile constantly and I love them so much. They have really made getting through everything that has happened a lot easier knowing I am striving to make a life they can be happy with and that nurtures and helps them grow.

Now while my old dreams didn't pan out because they were just not meant to, I have found a way to dust myself off, redirect myself, and begin the path to a whole new set of dreams that make me happy just thinking about. For some people if this happens you may not have to abandon certain dreams, like me, for me I am still pursuing the writing and hoping that I finally come up with something that will make me proud to share. I think I have some ideas too so who knows that may come sooner than later with the support I have around me now cheering me on.

With all that has gone on I have grown, changed, and learned so much. I wake up each morning more hopeful than I ever have. I have dreams I can't wait to achieve and I KNOW I will! I am grateful for every person I have in my life that is supportive, caring and willing to be an active part of our lives! So while things have changed, I couldn't be happier and this is just the start of a new journey where our family is .... MAKING IT WORK, TOGETHER!

The Winds of Change

Well it is happening, we are going back to CT. My heart has been there since we left and it seems I couldn't be truly happy out here like I wanted to be. Mckenzee is happy about it, Spencer, well I don't think he has a clue, and DJ is the one disappointed in us wanting to go home.
He has worked so hard out here and tried to make us a life and I didn't make it easy on him. I know I probably could have tried harder but without Andy and without my friends and family I felt a little piece of my soul was missing.
I know it doesn't matter what I say because he is still not happy about it but I wish he knew that I WANTED our lives to work out here...I really did, but I am not happy. As much as I love him and all the things he has done for us it still doesn't take the ache of not being able to see my son everyday or any time I want, it doesn't give me my mom to go out to coffee with and to watch cheesy movies with my friends while we talk about our kids.

Now some may say I am selfish that if he is happy here then I should be happy because at least I am with him. Okay I understand that reasoning and if I had had a normal family filled life and didn't have a son I have to fly out here just to see once a year then maybe I would agree with you but that is not me.
I spent YEARS being alone, homeless, moving from city to city to find work, a place to sleep, someone who DIDN'T abuse me. I never got to have a great relationship with my mother until I was late into my 20s and it really just got good when I entered my 30s....I am now 34, and I miss my mother something terribly. I totally love the friends I have finally made so many years past the ones I made many years ago and lost track of or touch with until recently. For me it was just when things in my personal life were falling into place that I made the decision to leave it all behind for him and his decision. I had high hopes and I had no idea it would be so hard but should I continue to feel like I am hurt inside and truly missing out for this...maybe I should, maybe I AM selfish.
But this is what is happening...I am going home....I need to go home!

A Whole New World!

So it is official...WE HAVE MOVED! We finally got out of that house that was holding us back and making us miserable. Now we have our own place, (about a half hour from work for me) but I am completely okay with that! We are so much happier, the kids are happier, and it is all a part of our growing up and moving up in life!

Andy has been here since the 29th of last month and it has had its ups and downs. He is AWESOME and I have missed him SOOOO much that even though he suffers from "only child syndrome" I still love him more and more every dang day! He is getting to be so big and in just a few weeks he turns 10!! WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!
                                           

 I remember when he was just 3 years old and a tiny little boy just starting to grow big! He used to be so small and sweet and innocent and I am learning more and more just how much he has grown!!! He has grown into a smart, witty, goofball who steals my heart every time he says my name! I am going to be heartbroken when he leaves in just a little while and is gone for almost a year 3000 miles away! 

But now look he is all grown up with a little sister and a little brother to look after and be a role model for (sometimes not the best but he is young lol) 

I have also been employed for two full months and a really enjoying my job for the most part, there are those days when I feel like the least liked employee there and like they are just plain bitchy and clicky and not my cup of tea....but anyways, things are going good and I am pretty happy thus far! 

Hope you are all having an excellent summer and that you are finding things to be happy about!