A New Year but not a New Me

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, welcome to 2020 and thanks for reading along. 

I know most of the time when the year starts the internet and real-world are covered in "Resolutions" that we all start promising we are going to stick to. However, you will not find those here. I have decided that this year I am just going to continue doing what I started to do in 2019. There is no reason for me to say "New Year, New Me" I don't want a new me, I kinda like me the way I am, I am loved for me why change that. 

Now don't get me wrong I do not mean that I don't think there are things about myself that could use some tweaking, I would love to go down a pants size (or 4) so I have already started eating better, exercising more, and making all-around healthier choices for myself and my family.

That was something we started before the holiday season tempted our sweet cravings, so I plan to continue that. I also plan to work on my mental health. I have done research, planning and implementing of things into my life that helps with that already (otherwise I probably wouldn't have made it through the holidays quite as easily).  

Something I found that helps with my particular issues 
*(if you would like to know more about mine leave a comment) is staying organized and having my home as in order as possible. ORGANIZING is KEY for me! I have working on finding thrift shop finds and free items from friends and neighbors as often as I can because it makes it WAY easier to organize when you have a place for EVERYTHING!  (There will be a post about some of my finds and what I used them for coming up later this month) Just implementing a few changes here and there in our life has made a huge difference in how my mental health impacts my day to day routine. 

Another change I made last year was trying new things. That extended to making new friends, going to new places, eating new foods, and doing things I would have once hesitated to try. This year will be filled with more of that. I will continue to put myself out there and say yes to opportunities that are presented to me with less fear and more ambition! I will do things I have always wanted to, and I will finally cross off a few more things from my bucket list. 

That also ties into me keeping track of my days and making memories with my family. More photos, more crafting, more reading, more time together because it is so very precious right now in the world we live in. The kids have been growing so much and it so hard sometimes to realize just how independent they are all becoming. I suppose I nurture that by finding ways for them to make decisions in our home, holding them accountable for their actions and chores, and making sure they always know how they feel matters. I want them to grow up knowing they are loved. That is really my only goal in life! I want those I love to be happy and know how much they are loved. That extends to my friends, my family (near and far) and even strangers because with the way the world is we need as much love out there as is possible. 

So now you know what my plan is for this year, I would love to hear what your plan is. If you don't have a plan and that works for you then that is okay too. For me, a plan works best and I wish you all the best! 

Coming up this year here @Making it Work Together, we will visit bucket lists, crafting, organizing, mental health, and what works in my house for our family's particular needs! If there is something you would love to see, please feel free to leave a comment! 

Happy Living! - MomentofMom 

Summer is Here

Yep, you heard that right moms and dads out there, Summer is HERE! Which of course means....no school!




I am lucky that I can be home with them while they are out. I am lucky there are with me for a good portion of the summer as they are with Dad most of the year because of school.









HOWEVER, surviving the summer with kids wanting attention the ENTIRE day can run even the most even keeled mother ragged.









My children especially could stump a Pinterest mom with the need for entertainment and attention. Again lucky for me I AM a Pinterest mom and have a plethora of ideas the are spaced out over the summer to help us stay sane in the hot weather. Last week we had our first day out together since school let out and it went about as smoothly as I could have hoped it would.

First we had a smooth morning with a shower and yummy breakfasts for the kiddos. Then we hopped the local bus down to our town's library where I signed the kids up for their own library cards, we did a puppet show and then took out some books and movies to enjoy at home. Spencer spent some time talking and laughing with the fish in the aquarium. Out side they posed with and as statues (it was totally cute).






On the way back we had a little bit of money so we stopped at DQ and got some cheese curds and blizzards before making the short walk home. It was a blast and the kids had so much fun.







I love how much they love books and having them thank me for the "awesome snack" was pretty damn great.

In the weeks coming up we have a few more library trips, a fireworks show on the 4th, probably another BBQ or two and several small activities for the days when the weather doesn't want to cooperate with our plans, such as rock painting, puppet show making, forts, and family games to play.

All in all I think summer will go well and I will miss them when they have to go to theirs Dad's again.

Zee's art page 

Spencer's picture of me and a turtle!

 I even have a blast just making art with them. It makes me smile when Spencer draws our family and when Kenzee comes up with ideas that she does all on her own with no guidance. It really shows how creative she is.





This is going to be a great summer with lots of fun memories. I cannot wait for the next day of fun planned.
I am sure you will all be waiting ever so patiently for my next update on how we are making it all work in today's chaotic world and keeping ourselves happy. Until tomorrow! Ciao!

Learning about Others

This past weekend we attended the Seattle Pride Parade! It was the kids first time really being a part of something that important. It went really well too, I expected a lot of questions and confusion. Turns out KIDS ARE NOT JUDGMENTAL like some ADULTS I know! 











They had a lot of fun celebrating LOVE, PEACE, and UNDERSTANDING! They learned that people are ALL very different but no one is better than anyone else, just different. They learned that LOVE is what is important! They enjoyed the colors, the music and the fun people they got to see marching in the parade. 

It was very fun for me to see them clapping and enjoying it when I expected them to have questions but they seemed to have no problems just accepting the way people were. I think we could all use to take a page out of their book. We should just accept the differences and learn to love everyone the way we want to be loved. 

 We spent the rest of the afternoon with friends having a BBQ and just having fun. It was really just a GREAT day! 


 I can't wait to take them again and maybe next time make sure we are all decked out to show our support for LOVE in all its forms! 

I am a woman who has a family that FULLY SUPPORTS LOVE and PEACE! We believe that you should love whom you love and never for a minute feel like you have to defend your choice! We LOVE YOU! 

From my little family to yours!  

It's Been a While, and So Much Has Changed...

Sometimes things do NOT work out the way we had originally planned. Sometimes you try for a long time hoping something will work better the next time and maybe just maybe it will be okay. That is what has kept me so busy and unable to update this blog for a while. I like to think you all have anxiously awaited my next post but my guess is you kinda forgot about me.
All of that is ok though because now I am back with the Making It Work Together Blog 2.0!



So much has changed but I feel my newest version of my family is the best it can be. I am no longer with the person who I started this journey with but that is alright. We have both moved on to better people for ourselves and couldn't be happier.

Now I live in a new little two bedroom house, with a tiny yard and the best guy a girl could ask for. We even have plans to eventually get a couple of pets, a cat and a dog. We have been through a lot in the last few years and not too long ago celebrated making it two years together. We made it through a major health scare, being on the verge of homelessness, and some crazy people who tested our ability to stand strong together.

 We made it and have come out on the other side stronger and more together in our short time than I ever felt in the years passed than with anyone else. I feel like this is the partner I want to have till the end of my time. We are strong, we make our decisions together and with little to no friction, sure we argue but it is not all that often, sometimes it is over silly things like a tone not meant for us but left over from a long day of stress or such. Together we make it work in ways I didn't think it would for someone coming into a life that included three children that were not his biologically.
He makes me so happy there as well. He is GREAT with the kids and misses them when they have to be at their father's house. (As do I terribly, but co-parenting is tough work) All I know is he is wonderful to have as part of the family!

Speaking of my wonderful little ones, so much growing has happened there! All three of them are moving up to new schools this fall and it makes me both proud and a little sad. My oldest will be starting high school, my daughter middle school and the youngest is starting kindergarten after already making me emotional with him starting preschool LAST fall! It is hard watching them get so independent. I loved being needed so much and now with the youngest doing full days at school the house is empty and quiet. Now while it leaves time for me to organize and unpack more of our stuff (as we really only moved a few weeks ago.) it also makes me sad to not have that little shadow that used to follow me around.
 In the past few years my little ones have learned so much and accomplished many many things. Spencer knows some sign language and knows more colors than I remember knowing at his age. Mckenzee has grown up into a beautiful preteen, who wants to be a chef, but whom I believe would be a great actress (a talent I feel she uses too often). Maybe she can be a BROADWAY CHEF and do a musical all about her journey to become a chef beginning at a young age. (I may have put a LITTLE bit of thought into the story line and song choices) Andrew is doing awesome as well, latest updates have him becoming quite the fisherman and loving spending his time outdoors from early in the morning til evening doing so. I love this because it means he isn't spending all his time planted in front of a video game wasting away a perfectly wonderful day!
I am so proud of all of them they make me smile constantly and I love them so much. They have really made getting through everything that has happened a lot easier knowing I am striving to make a life they can be happy with and that nurtures and helps them grow.

Now while my old dreams didn't pan out because they were just not meant to, I have found a way to dust myself off, redirect myself, and begin the path to a whole new set of dreams that make me happy just thinking about. For some people if this happens you may not have to abandon certain dreams, like me, for me I am still pursuing the writing and hoping that I finally come up with something that will make me proud to share. I think I have some ideas too so who knows that may come sooner than later with the support I have around me now cheering me on.

With all that has gone on I have grown, changed, and learned so much. I wake up each morning more hopeful than I ever have. I have dreams I can't wait to achieve and I KNOW I will! I am grateful for every person I have in my life that is supportive, caring and willing to be an active part of our lives! So while things have changed, I couldn't be happier and this is just the start of a new journey where our family is .... MAKING IT WORK, TOGETHER!

A Roller Coaster Month (and it is not over yet)

The month started off with me feeling a little sad about some things, one of them being that I was laid off from my job, turns out there just was not "enough work" for me to be on their payroll so they had to let me go, so one month before my one year mark at that job they terminated my employment.  It is making things a little harder on us financially and it makes me feel horrible.

To make ends meet a little better we sold the van. That helped pay some bills and caught us up a little bit. Made me a little bit sad though because I really liked the van, but when you need the money that is what you do.

Mckenzee started the third grade that same week! September 8 was her open house where she put away her school supplies in her desk and we met her teacher (then we went and got some ice cream).
On the 9th she started school and came home full of chatter about her first day! She LOVES school! She looked adorable too!

We also celebrated her 8th birthday this month! It is crazy how the time flies and how big she has gotten over the years, I remember when she was just a little thing dressed in little tiny dresses, no hair because it didn't grow in until she was over a year old.
Now she is a beautiful girl, who loves to sing, dance, go to Girl Scouts, make new friends, read. She works hard to draw and wants to learn how to make her handwriting "pretty like mommy's" as she put it. I am very proud of her.

The only other down I have is my health issues lately. I have had pain from some internal issues, a pulled muscle in my stomach, and a cold that seems to want to linger lately. I am hoping a trip to my doctor next week will give me the answers and treatment I am seeking. I kinda just want the doc to go ahead with the surgery and remove all the things that are causing my pain and issues. Hopefully he will.
That is really all I have to say for now because it is hard for me to concentrate with my pain and stuffiness. Hope you are all enjoying the first day of Autumn!

#MomMoments

School Supplies and Readiness

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I took a look at the calendar this morning and had the panic attack moment of realizing school starts in just four short weeks.  Thankfully some of her supplies from last year are in good shape and she can use them again this year, so that should save us some money. She also wants to use a bag my mother gave her as a school bag and that is more money saved.  It seems every year in school it is more and more money to spend on supplies, I think I need to find a way to get coupons or stock up over the year so that when school starts I have most of what she needs already saved up and read to pack in.  She is very excited to be starting the THIRD GRADE (though I wish time would slow down some). She will also be starting her last year as a Brownie in Girl Scouts (next year she will be a Junior) so she is super excited about that. When she went on vacation in CT/RI my mother sewed all her patches from this year on her vest and it looks awesome! All her family is very proud of her accomplishments in Scouting the last year! As am I! It is amazing all the new things she is willing to do now that she has been introduced to Girl Scouts, she has matured and done things she was once afraid to.

Her older brother starts the SIXTH GRADE soon and it drives me nuts to know that he is almost 11 years old already! How can so many years have gone by when it seems just yesterday I was teaching him how to walk and eat with a spoon?! Where does the time go.

Then there is Spencer! He is so smart and talks to well that unless he is upset I can understand just about everything he says.  I am thinking since he loves books and seems to have a knack for remembering things, I am going to start small and begin teaching him his letters/numbers/colors/and shapes so that he is more than ready when the time for him to start school comes about. (That day will be tough as I am pretty sure he is my last baby). I love to watch them grow but it drives me nuts that they seem to do it at a break-neck speed. I blink and suddenly they are all grown up and don't need me as much any more...it is a little heart-breaking but smile inducing.  WATCHING CHILDREN GROW IS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER!

That is all for today, as I make the mad rush to Payless and Walmart to find all my last minute supplies I hope you are all doing the same and that I run into you soon! ;)

Whirlwind Heart

So many emotions going on with me right now. 

Part of it could be that I am watching The Color Purple   which is one of those movies where you end up truly invested in the character, part of it could be the fact that two of my little ones are not here with me right now, or it could be that today is the nine year anniversary of my first date with DJ and I keep thinking about that night and how wonderful it was.

Only part of my emotions are sad. Forget the movie part because that is fleeting but my small sadness is because I miss the little ones so much. I have been able to have a lot more one on one with Spencer which is cool because he is growing up so fast and I hate missing any of it. He is so smart and funny I love him so much.

As anyone who reads along knows Andrew has returned to CT for his time with his father, as he does every summer. I always miss him, and this year his sister, my little Mckenzee, has gone to CT/RI for 10 days to visit family and spend some time at the beach! 

Mckenzee spent the first few days out there with my mom (her Memere) and they had a blast together. My mom told me they went to the Book Barn and visited the Princess Pond, had some BBQ and went to Hopeville Pond. My mom made sure that there were some awesome pictures of them all together were taken so I could see them all again! It was cool. 

Now Mckenzee is with DJs mom (her Gramma) spending time with his family (and Andy for a few days) at Misquamicut. She is there for the week and having lots of fun in the sun (hopefully while sun blocked). I have a feeling she is going to come back tanner than most people who live out here, and certainly more tan than me. She was already tanned when she got back from her weeks at camp. I am hoping she is doing a lot of swimming and having lots of fun. I am so worried about her and I miss her so much I am not used to having her gone this long. 

On the happier side, I have been able to get some writing done now that I have a goal and a writing buddy (THANK YOU KELLY) I am able to keep on track better now. I am also trying to get my art back on par but that is going rougher than I thought it would with the pain in my hands and my lack of inspiration lately.

 I am hoping in the long run I can get most of my book done within the year and some decent artwork that I am proud of. I think my heart will eventually give me something to work with. At least I hope it will. 

That is all for now, keep reading on. 

#MommysHeart

Losing Myself

You ever have a few days where it seems like things are going great, like you are making all the right decisions, like the sun is shining just for you?

Yeah today is NOT one of those days. I am depressed, I have been for a while lately and I have been trying not to let it affect everything but it seems I have no choice in the matter. I am miserable out here. I miss my family, I miss my son, I miss my friends. I think the novelty of making the move and trying new things and trying to make it out here has worn off and I realized that at my age I just want the familiar and trying to make new friends and even take a moment for myself is too hard to do without people who know me.

I also worry that any day something could happen to my grandparents, my aunt or uncle, or some other family member and I won’t be able to get home to say goodbye in time. I would never forgive myself if that happened, especially if it was my grandparents or mother. Also what would I do if something serious happened to Andrew, that is my child, my first born, I couldn’t handle it if something awful happened to him and I couldn’t be with him.  I know DJ gets on my case about fighting for more time, for more of the summer at the least but he doesn’t seem to understand I would still have to say goodbye to him for a long time. I would still be without him through the holidays and his birthday. It would cost too much to fly him out here for the holidays (especially since rates are higher then). To pay $500+ dollars for the summer and then do it again in the winter with rates around $700 would mean spending $1200 just to see him for 6-10 weeks maybe total, if that. That would be $200 a week just to visit with my own child! It is not that it isn’t worth it, just that it is not something we can afford. I hate how much my heart breaks as he walks down to his plane and waves his goodbyes. I hate how I am left there crying alone for a child I love so much and I made the choice to move out here and now have to live without him for 11 months out of the year. It didn’t know it was going to be this hard. I at least thought I would not hurt as much after the first time but I was wrong. It seems to hurt more and more each time, like cutting scarred skin and making it bleed again, over and over. With him getting older it is harder to live without him. I want to be there to experience his life before he is too old to want me in it any more. I don’t think that is too much to ask. If it was DJ who was going through what I am going through I would do whatever he wanted to as long as it made him happy.  I moved out here for him, not for me, not for our kids, but for him. I left everything behind and thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. It is a very big deal and I want to go home. That doesn’t mean I want to go back into our old habits, or I want to live the same lives we had. I just want to be closer to my family, I want to be closer to my friends. I want to make our life where our kids will be able to know who their family is and if we can make it work out here, we can make it work anywhere.

I know he is mad at me for this. I know he may even resent me deep down, but I can’t do this anymore. I actually contemplated suicide the other night because I was so depressed and tired of hurting on the inside. It isn’t his fault, I understand that out here he feels free and proud of himself but I don’t, I feel lost and alone.

I wish he would understand, I wish he would just for a moment put himself in my shoes. I had a hard time saying goodbye, so hard that my heart broke into pieces when my mother hugged me. I held it together but still. I am the queen of not letting it show and doing my best to keep others happy and I just cannot do it anymore. I think it is slowly killing me.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I want to go home, I DON’T want DJ to hate me.  I just want to stop the hurting. 

Firsts in hair and life!

There were two new firsts this week. After 7+ years of my little girl having long locks, we have officially cut them all off and given her a cut very much like her favorite celebrity Anne Hathaway. It was a necessary thing that was tough to do but we couldn't be happier with the results! We figure that since it is summer anyway it will be much cooler to have the shorter hair and she won't have to worry about putting it up or brushing out the massive tangles her wavy thick hair has a tendency to get. She looks incredibly adorable with her new Pixie cut, which also works for the other new thing she experiencing this week.

On Monday she left for her first time ever week at St. Albans Girl Scout Camp. She was super excited and nervous to be attending camp with some of her favorite girl scout friends! She had so much fun shopping for and labeling all her supplies for camp. We made sure we had it all packed up and crossed off the list so that she had everything she needed. Her Memere even sent some money to help pick up the sleeping bag and some socks to go with her.

She even wanted Snuggles to go along for the ride which was cute and made me smile.
When she went to camp she was put in the Pixie group at camp (just like her haircut-see perfect) and I thought that was great because one of her favorite Disney characters happens to be a pixie! Tinkerbell! So how totally perfect was that!?!

I wrote her a letter yesterday, I don't know if she will get it before the end of the week but I tried. I meant to do it earlier but it was so stressful thinking about this week coming up and knowing that Andrews leaves in just five days from today.

We can't wait to see her on Friday at the Family Picnic/Pick Up and I am hoping to be able to get her a camping patch since they are not too much to buy. It will be great to add to her vest before she takes it to CT to show her Memere, who is very excited to see all the things she has done and patched she has earned! It is so crazy that she gets home from camp on Friday, Andrew leaves Monday, She leaves again on Wednesday night, and then is gone for ten days! I miss her face! Though I am sure she will be back to drive me nuts before I know it!

That is it for all the first lately. Hope you are having a fantastic Summer!

Holiday Weekend Family Fun

Today is Monday and another wonderful week is ahead for the world. The festivities of the weekend still linger on the lawns of those who celebrated with their sparklers and personal fireworks and in my home the only remnants of the weekend are the memories and fun that we had as well as some fun pictures. 
While we did not participate in outside activities due to my recovery, the heat and Spencer being a cranky handful for part of the day we still had a pretty good 4th of July! 

The day started out like any other with the kids ready to greet the day a little sooner than I wish they would on a weekend. (They tend to get up with the sun.) Mckenzee proved just how mature she is getting and just how great it is that she pushes herself to accomplish things with her Scouting because she got up and made scrambled eggs and toast for her and her brothers! I was so surprised and impressed! She was very proud of herself too because as she said "I didn't get ANY shells in my eggs Mama!" A wonderful feat for my 7 year old love! 

Andy's little bit of color

Before

I decided that morning that I would also cut and color my hair. Now to anyone who ever cuts their own hair you know how difficult it can be to cut it straight and good on the back since you can't see it well but after several tries and a few too many inches off it was finally a good looking cut length and I was ready to color it. This is what it looked like before I colored it and finished getting it to an even length. (see picture on the left) Andrew decided he wanted color in his hair too but I didn't want to over do it and I wasn't 100% comfortable with the color I was using going in his hair but being a mom who wants to let the kids try new things I put a little in his hair after I put the majority of it in mine (since I WAS doing my WHOLE head in the color) This is how his turned out. (See ^) Mine ended up being more red than I had anticipated, but I figure I can get the color I really wanted NEXT time (another 6 months or so from now) I do like the way mine looks though so I have no real complaints. (See right -->) 

We wanted to go somewhere or do something with the kids, but with it being so warm and me still not feeling 100% we didn't want to overdo it. Plus we really didn't have much money to go to the places where everyone else seemed to be flocking to. Since we did have a little bit of money to use we decided to take the kids to Shari's for some pie shakes! (They take a piece of their fresh made pies and blend it into some ice cream to make and awesome shake!) They had so many flavors to choose from too, Andrew chose Chocolate Silk, Mckenzee and DJ had Peanut butter chocolate, Spencer had a kids ice cream sundae, and I had their Montana Cherry Pie shake. They were so yummy and a perfect cool down treat to have with the family out and about! 

We finished the night with out cookout of yummy chicken, hot dogs, burgers, potato salad, beans, DJ's special recipe Cole slaw, and chips! It was delicious and we were all very full! We watched Independence Day while the kids played and did their reading for the night. Then the kids then had some Popsicle while we watched the televised fireworks from around the states and they danced with each other to the music. After putting them to bed the neighbors seemed to think it was a good time (10pm) to start setting of some fireworks of their own so DJ took them outside to enjoy them since sleep was out of the question. They went on for quite a while (and the garbage was left out all over the parking lot which I was NOT happy about) but the kids were happy so I was happy! So like a said, all in all a pretty good day! Sunday we just spent hanging out, cleaning up the house while DJ did the grocery shopping, and then had an early turn in night. 

Today we just are recovering from the fun of the weekend and are all a little run down, so after doing the quick chores and some laundry it has mostly been a chill out day. Which I think we all needed as I haven't really had one since leaving the hospital. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend and made some fun memories! From my family to yours! Have a wonderful week!