Learning about Others

This past weekend we attended the Seattle Pride Parade! It was the kids first time really being a part of something that important. It went really well too, I expected a lot of questions and confusion. Turns out KIDS ARE NOT JUDGMENTAL like some ADULTS I know! 











They had a lot of fun celebrating LOVE, PEACE, and UNDERSTANDING! They learned that people are ALL very different but no one is better than anyone else, just different. They learned that LOVE is what is important! They enjoyed the colors, the music and the fun people they got to see marching in the parade. 

It was very fun for me to see them clapping and enjoying it when I expected them to have questions but they seemed to have no problems just accepting the way people were. I think we could all use to take a page out of their book. We should just accept the differences and learn to love everyone the way we want to be loved. 

 We spent the rest of the afternoon with friends having a BBQ and just having fun. It was really just a GREAT day! 


 I can't wait to take them again and maybe next time make sure we are all decked out to show our support for LOVE in all its forms! 

I am a woman who has a family that FULLY SUPPORTS LOVE and PEACE! We believe that you should love whom you love and never for a minute feel like you have to defend your choice! We LOVE YOU! 

From my little family to yours!  

It's Been a While, and So Much Has Changed...

Sometimes things do NOT work out the way we had originally planned. Sometimes you try for a long time hoping something will work better the next time and maybe just maybe it will be okay. That is what has kept me so busy and unable to update this blog for a while. I like to think you all have anxiously awaited my next post but my guess is you kinda forgot about me.
All of that is ok though because now I am back with the Making It Work Together Blog 2.0!



So much has changed but I feel my newest version of my family is the best it can be. I am no longer with the person who I started this journey with but that is alright. We have both moved on to better people for ourselves and couldn't be happier.

Now I live in a new little two bedroom house, with a tiny yard and the best guy a girl could ask for. We even have plans to eventually get a couple of pets, a cat and a dog. We have been through a lot in the last few years and not too long ago celebrated making it two years together. We made it through a major health scare, being on the verge of homelessness, and some crazy people who tested our ability to stand strong together.

 We made it and have come out on the other side stronger and more together in our short time than I ever felt in the years passed than with anyone else. I feel like this is the partner I want to have till the end of my time. We are strong, we make our decisions together and with little to no friction, sure we argue but it is not all that often, sometimes it is over silly things like a tone not meant for us but left over from a long day of stress or such. Together we make it work in ways I didn't think it would for someone coming into a life that included three children that were not his biologically.
He makes me so happy there as well. He is GREAT with the kids and misses them when they have to be at their father's house. (As do I terribly, but co-parenting is tough work) All I know is he is wonderful to have as part of the family!

Speaking of my wonderful little ones, so much growing has happened there! All three of them are moving up to new schools this fall and it makes me both proud and a little sad. My oldest will be starting high school, my daughter middle school and the youngest is starting kindergarten after already making me emotional with him starting preschool LAST fall! It is hard watching them get so independent. I loved being needed so much and now with the youngest doing full days at school the house is empty and quiet. Now while it leaves time for me to organize and unpack more of our stuff (as we really only moved a few weeks ago.) it also makes me sad to not have that little shadow that used to follow me around.
 In the past few years my little ones have learned so much and accomplished many many things. Spencer knows some sign language and knows more colors than I remember knowing at his age. Mckenzee has grown up into a beautiful preteen, who wants to be a chef, but whom I believe would be a great actress (a talent I feel she uses too often). Maybe she can be a BROADWAY CHEF and do a musical all about her journey to become a chef beginning at a young age. (I may have put a LITTLE bit of thought into the story line and song choices) Andrew is doing awesome as well, latest updates have him becoming quite the fisherman and loving spending his time outdoors from early in the morning til evening doing so. I love this because it means he isn't spending all his time planted in front of a video game wasting away a perfectly wonderful day!
I am so proud of all of them they make me smile constantly and I love them so much. They have really made getting through everything that has happened a lot easier knowing I am striving to make a life they can be happy with and that nurtures and helps them grow.

Now while my old dreams didn't pan out because they were just not meant to, I have found a way to dust myself off, redirect myself, and begin the path to a whole new set of dreams that make me happy just thinking about. For some people if this happens you may not have to abandon certain dreams, like me, for me I am still pursuing the writing and hoping that I finally come up with something that will make me proud to share. I think I have some ideas too so who knows that may come sooner than later with the support I have around me now cheering me on.

With all that has gone on I have grown, changed, and learned so much. I wake up each morning more hopeful than I ever have. I have dreams I can't wait to achieve and I KNOW I will! I am grateful for every person I have in my life that is supportive, caring and willing to be an active part of our lives! So while things have changed, I couldn't be happier and this is just the start of a new journey where our family is .... MAKING IT WORK, TOGETHER!

Whirlwind Heart

So many emotions going on with me right now. 

Part of it could be that I am watching The Color Purple   which is one of those movies where you end up truly invested in the character, part of it could be the fact that two of my little ones are not here with me right now, or it could be that today is the nine year anniversary of my first date with DJ and I keep thinking about that night and how wonderful it was.

Only part of my emotions are sad. Forget the movie part because that is fleeting but my small sadness is because I miss the little ones so much. I have been able to have a lot more one on one with Spencer which is cool because he is growing up so fast and I hate missing any of it. He is so smart and funny I love him so much.

As anyone who reads along knows Andrew has returned to CT for his time with his father, as he does every summer. I always miss him, and this year his sister, my little Mckenzee, has gone to CT/RI for 10 days to visit family and spend some time at the beach! 

Mckenzee spent the first few days out there with my mom (her Memere) and they had a blast together. My mom told me they went to the Book Barn and visited the Princess Pond, had some BBQ and went to Hopeville Pond. My mom made sure that there were some awesome pictures of them all together were taken so I could see them all again! It was cool. 

Now Mckenzee is with DJs mom (her Gramma) spending time with his family (and Andy for a few days) at Misquamicut. She is there for the week and having lots of fun in the sun (hopefully while sun blocked). I have a feeling she is going to come back tanner than most people who live out here, and certainly more tan than me. She was already tanned when she got back from her weeks at camp. I am hoping she is doing a lot of swimming and having lots of fun. I am so worried about her and I miss her so much I am not used to having her gone this long. 

On the happier side, I have been able to get some writing done now that I have a goal and a writing buddy (THANK YOU KELLY) I am able to keep on track better now. I am also trying to get my art back on par but that is going rougher than I thought it would with the pain in my hands and my lack of inspiration lately.

 I am hoping in the long run I can get most of my book done within the year and some decent artwork that I am proud of. I think my heart will eventually give me something to work with. At least I hope it will. 

That is all for now, keep reading on. 

#MommysHeart

Family Update, with all its bumps and such.

I realize it has been a while since I have updated and if you lived in my house you would be shocked that I can even find anytime to write anything EVER! 

My kiddos keep me so busy and so stressed lately that I sometimes just wish they had little mute buttons or shut down switches like the little robot girl from Small Wonder (a show I watched in the 80's) so I can have a moment to sit, breathe, maybe enjoy some tea or something. 

There has been some new things happening lately. 
First ANDY IS HERE! He got here on the 22nd of June and it has been an adventure to say the least. He is a lot different than he was last year. I have missed so much and it seems like he is growing up WAY faster than he should be. It makes me a little sad because I remember when he used to be kind and his favorite movie was Meet the Robinsons and he wanted to be an architect. Now I ask him his favorite movie and he shrugs, I ask him what he wants to be and he says "I don't know", now he does things to his siblings just to make them yell or cry and he thinks it is funny. What happened to my little boy?! What do I do now? Can I get him back or is this just the beginning of losing what he used to be to what his father has let him become? It just completely hurts my heart. 

Another tidbit of info, I recently had to have surgery. Nothing really huge just the same thing I had done a few years ago only this time they put in an IUD as well so I won't be having anymore babies any time soon. There does seem to be a little difference in my recovery this time though. This time I am in more pain that last time, this time they gave me a breathing tube and now my throat is killing me. I cannot yell, much to my children's happiness I am sure (probably to DJs as well) and even when I talk my voice will drop out. My bleeding post op was not as heavy but due to me being a stubborn ass I am bleeding more today than I was when I first got out. I am guessing I am not doing to well with the whole "take it easy" advice via the doctors. I am trying to do better. Hopefully tomorrow I can be a little smarter. I just have so much on my mind, there are some things I am working out with my stress and it just seems like there are never enough hours in the day. 

Lately I have been trying to find a connection spiritually as well and some days I don't know if I have found it yet. I have so many years of being turned away from accepting my faith. So many years ago I was involved with my spirituality. I was in the church choir, I was made a youth pastor, I was someone that comforted others in their time of need and celebrated with them as they wed or found their place in the spirit. Now I feel lost, like I maybe waited to long to try to find myself again. I just don't know. I just want to be happy, I want my children to be happy, I want my fiance to be happy. I just don't know how to make everyone happy. Maybe I can't maybe that is the big picture but I am trying everyday to at least get a little closer to making the people in my life proud of me. 

Speaking of proud though, I am of my little girl! She just finished her first year of Girl Scouts last month. At the bridging ceremony she was able to recite her promise and received 27 new badges and 3 pins to add to her Brownie vest! She was so excited and it was a great night. She cannot wait for the next season to start up and she is working on earning some badges over the summer. She is also super excited to be going to camp for the first time ever (and it is overnight) during a week of Harry Potter themes and lots of Girl Scout like activities. I cannot believe how old she is already and how fast she has grown. 

Time seems to fly these days, Andrew turns 11 next month, Mckenzee 8 the following month and before I know it Spencer will be 3!

I am feeling a little emotional right now, and in some pain that I should really try laying down and relaxing now but I felt the need to write this down and let you all in again since it has been so long!

I will write more soon! 

Mother

moth·er ˈməT͟Hər

noun

1.       a woman in relation to a child or children to whom she has given birth.

synonyms: female parent, materfamilias, matriarch; More

verb

1.       bring up (a child) with care and affection.

"the art of mothering"

2.       dated give birth to.

synonyms:          give birth to, have, bear, produce, birth; archaic be brought to bed of

"she mothered two sets of twins"

3.       :  maternal tenderness or affection

4.        [short for motherfucker] sometimes vulgar :  motherfucker

5.       :  something that is an extreme or ultimate example of its kind especially in terms of scale <the mother of all construction projects>

6.       — moth·er·hood \-ˌhu̇d\ noun

7.       — moth·er·less \-ləs\ adjective

8.       — moth·er·less·ness noun

     Origin of MOTHER

Middle English moder, from Old English mōdor; akin to Old High German muoter mother, Latin mater, Greek mētēr, Sanskrit mātṛ

First Known Use: before 12th century

My ma and I Summer 1985

My favorite part of all these definitions is the verb version 1. Bring up (a child) with care and affection. My mother definitely did her best to do just that. No mother is perfect, but to their child they are the perfect example of love. Now I know that not every child is lucky enough to have a real mother. Sometimes tragedy or life choices cause a child to be without the actual female version of a mother. Occasionally a father can fill the shoes well or any other role in the family can sometimes do their best to be a mother figure to a child. It just depends on the family. For me my mother was both the female and male role model for me. My father was in no way a father, and as far as I am concerned will never be a part of mine nor my children’s lives.

My mother though, I miss terribly. We spent many years (because of my father) having a strained and rocky relationship. I was fearful of confiding in her and I was not able to get close to her like I wanted until much later in my life. It was mostly in the last 10 years that we were finally able to have the kind of relationship every girl wishes she has with her mother. We grew close and spent a lot of time together. Now I live 3000+ miles away from her, and though I can call her and talk to her regularly it is not the same as having her close by. I fear something happening to her and me not being able to get to her. With all that has gone on with my health lately I wish she was here to hug me and tell me it will all be okay. The last time I had surgery it was her who waited by my side until it started and she who was the first person I saw when I woke up. I love her so much and I miss her every day. I miss waiting for her to come home from work so the kids could give her some love before bed. I miss making daiquiris and talking on a lazy Sunday. I miss having her text me when I was upstairs to see if I wanted to come down and have a coffee with her in the morning.

I worry that the last time I saw her could be the last time I saw her and maybe I forgot to say how much I loved her and need her in my life.

I don’t know what to do….I only know that I feel a little lost without her.   I LOVE YOU MA! 

Starting the Year with a BANG!

DJ worked hard to make it
awesome! 

It came out so nice! 

So we are a few weeks into the new year and things are going well. Kids are growing like weeds, house is relatively organized (on a good day), and each day I am more glad I made the decision to come out here and make it all work! For Christmas we received some artwork and picture frames for the wall as well as photo paper so one of the days DJ and I were both home, we got those on the wall and boy what a difference it makes in here!
Over the holiday season we were able to get some great finds at the local thrift store and made out with four (may have been five) new totes to start organizing stuff into. At least two of them went to organizing all the decorations after we took them all down, one now houses all my wonderful art supplies from my mom and DJ, two are in the closet (one with games, another with blankets) and I think one of them has Mckenzee's new toys in it as well. SO that was six that I can think of, there may have been more it is hard to keep track when things have been so busy here lately.
     Little Mckenzee had an appointment this month because the doctor was worried her body was maturing just a little too soon. All went well though and they want to double check her bone age in about six months (because it looked a little advanced but not seriously so). She was really brave too and even had her blood taken like a champ! Which is saying something since she is TERRIFIED of needles/shots/etc.

She also is making me very proud lately. Not only did she get a great report card, but she also started reading one of my favorite books of all time! The Secret Garden, which she received from her Memere in a three-book set along with Anne of Green Gables and A Little Princess (two more of my favorites!), she is already on page 21 with only a little help needed as it is a grade level up from where she is right now. She likes it and it makes my heart happy. Another wonderful achievement for her is the work she is doing in her Girl Scout Troop. My little Brownie is working hard to earn her badges and is doing a great job. She received her first 3 badges just before Christmas for Visiting the Retirement Home, Skating, and Visiting the Library. Now she is working on her Money Manager Badge and her Philanthropist Badge, and if she sells at least 25 boxes of yummy Girl Scout Cookies she will also get a badge for that! (https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/mckenzie6143)
     Spencer is making leaps and bounds in his vocabulary, his building skills, his dancing skills, and his memory! Every day he seems to do something new that amazes (and sometimes frustrates) me. One of my favorite things he does is blowing kisses! He does this when any of us is leaving the house, sometimes when he is leaving the room, and at night when we put him to bed. It melts my heart when he follows it up with a "yuv you mommy/daddy". His genuine excitement over little things makes me happy as well. When his daddy gets home from work or I come home from work we are greeted by a chorus of "Mommy!/Daddy!" as he runs over and hugs our legs. I adore it, it proves to me that no matter how crazy they can make me and how some days I want to run away to an island in the middle of no where just to pee without an audience, that my life would be worthless without them! They fully complete my reason for existence along with their father.

We are one whole heart beating in five separate bodies!
I LOVE MY FAMILY! 

Introducing...my FAMILY!

I wanted to introduce you all to the members of my family and tell you a little about us! 

Me: I am 32 years old, and I love to write, scrapbook, sing, play video games, read, watch movies with my family, and take lots of photos! 

 My fiance DJ: is also 32, makes me laugh, is a wonderful guy who likes to plan, and knows how to have fun! 

My son Spencer: is 3 months old, likes to drool, wiggle, babble, and smile A LOT! 

My daughter Mckenzee: is almost 6 years old, love coloring, dancing, singing, butterflies, and has a HUGE temper! 

My son Andrew: is almost 9 years old, loves legos, pirates, Magic Tree House Books, and annoying the crap outta his sister!  

Ok so now you know a little about us all and hopefully you will learn even more as I update this blog from day to day. Feel free to message me, comment or look me up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/suzanna.m.mather

Hope to entertain you, inspire you, and if nothing else make you laugh! 

Starting Anew

I have decided that a new place in a new state is the chance to start anew! Having recently moved from Connecticut to Washington I am adjusting to things in a positive and adventurous way! I am engaged to a wonderful man and together we have two children. I have a son named Andrew from a previous relationship who I have currently with me in Washington but who (because of a sucky legal system) must return to Connecticut to his father in about 2 weeks. I know I am going to miss him like crazy since I have NEVER spent more than a week away from him since he was born almost 9 years ago!

I also have a daughter named Mckenzee who is almost 6 and another son named Spencer who just became 3 months old. We moved to Washington to be with the father of my two children (the 6 year and 3 month old).  He moved here to try to find work since in CT thing were not working out on the search! When he found a job he started saving money and started making a home for us out here. So in June I took my children, packed up our things and we flew out so we could all be together.

Now as it has only been two weeks since we have made the move we have seemed to fit in quite well and have kinda gotten into a good flow of things. We make time for family meals, we make sure we say "I love you" as often as possible, and playtime is a MUST! I am sure we will have to readjust once the summer ends but for now this totally works for us. My fiance has been working hard and keeps making more and more hours during the week which on occasion is disappointing if we have made plans and he gets called in but again we "MAKE IT WORK", and he makes sure that on certain days off he is not called in so we can spend quality time as a family.

I hope to update regularly and to inspire you to "MAKE IT WORK, TOGETHER" yourselves!

Be safe, be calm, be together!