moth·er ˈməT͟Hər
noun
1.
a woman in relation to a child or children to
whom she has given birth.
synonyms: female
parent, materfamilias, matriarch; More
verb
1.
bring up (a child) with care and affection.
"the art of mothering"
2.
dated give birth to.
synonyms: give
birth to, have, bear, produce, birth; archaic be brought to bed of
"she mothered two sets of twins"
3.
:
maternal tenderness or affection
4.
[short
for motherfucker] sometimes vulgar :
motherfucker
5.
:
something that is an extreme or ultimate example of its kind especially
in terms of scale <the mother of all construction projects>
6.
— moth·er·hood \-ˌhu̇d\ noun
7.
— moth·er·less \-ləs\ adjective
8.
— moth·er·less·ness noun
Origin
of MOTHER
Middle English moder, from Old English mōdor; akin to Old High German
muoter mother, Latin mater, Greek mētēr, Sanskrit mātṛ
First Known Use: before 12th century
 |
| My ma and I Summer 1985 |
My favorite part of all
these definitions is the verb version 1. Bring up (a child) with care and
affection. My mother definitely did her best to do just that. No mother is
perfect, but to their child they are the perfect example of love. Now I know
that not every child is lucky enough to have a real mother. Sometimes tragedy
or life choices cause a child to be without the actual female version of a
mother. Occasionally a father can fill the shoes well or any other role in the
family can sometimes do their best to be a mother figure to a child. It just
depends on the family. For me my mother was both the female and male role model
for me. My father was in no way a father, and as far as I am concerned will
never be a part of mine nor my children’s lives.
My mother though, I miss
terribly. We spent many years (because of my father) having a strained and
rocky relationship. I was fearful of confiding in her and I was not able to get
close to her like I wanted until much later in my life. It was mostly in the
last 10 years that we were finally able to have the kind of relationship every
girl wishes she has with her mother. We grew close and spent a lot of time
together. Now I live 3000+ miles away from her, and though I can call her and
talk to her regularly it is not the same as having her close by. I fear
something happening to her and me not being able to get to her. With all that
has gone on with my health lately I wish she was here to hug me and tell me it
will all be okay. The last time I had surgery it was her who waited by my side
until it started and she who was the first person I saw when I woke up. I love
her so much and I miss her every day. I miss waiting for her to come home from
work so the kids could give her some love before bed. I miss making daiquiris and
talking on a lazy Sunday. I miss having her text me when I was upstairs to see
if I wanted to come down and have a coffee with her in the morning.
I worry that the last
time I saw her could be the last time I saw her and maybe I forgot to say how
much I loved her and need her in my life.
I don’t know what to do….I only know
that I feel a little lost without her.
I LOVE YOU MA!
